Biography

OK, here is the obligatory biography. I have removed a lot of stuff from previous sites. Tired of reliving certain events and what matters is who I am now. So some things have been removed to protect the innocent and guilty.

I was born in the mid-sixties, which was a different time. The Vietnam War, cultural change, but some areas still holding on the values of the fifties. This was my parents. When I was born, it was questioned whether or not my parents waited till their wedding night to consummate the marriage. Even though little remains of that past, I will try to piece together some events. My father claims I was a totally normal birth, even though I spent several days in the ICU. My grandparents account for this, because they stated I was premature. Yet most of my family thinks I was born 9 months after my parents marriage. I on the other hand, don't remember any of this.

My earliest memories were of my father and I looking at the new house my parents were building. He was telling the men working on the house what to change. I remember thing, "My daddy tells men what to do." Then I also remember moving into the house. I must have been 3 years old, because I remember holding my brother who was born not long after we moved in. I don't remember my father being around much, but remember spending time with my mother and my girlfriend across the street. I can tell you what I thought my gender was, because I just thought my girlfriend and I were the same. We wore the same clothes sometimes. I knew I had to change before my father got home, which is how I knew he was coming home. My mother would put these other clothes on.

I would not realize there was anything wrong with this until my girlfriend and I were playing in the woods behind our house. We both got muddy. Our mother's called us in. After scolding us, they decided to take us to the store with them. As we took off our clothes, my girlfriend and I each pointed at each other. "What is that?", was the response from the both of us. Then her mother said the same thing. My mother pulled my friends mother aside and talked with her, after they dropped off clothes for us to wear. Both of us hated it, because they were, what I call know, foo foo dresses. I hated them because they were hot, itchy, and my tights kept falling down. Nothing more was said.

At the age of 7, my mother passed away. My father changed my entire wardrobe. We moved in with my grandparents and my life as a boy would begin. It was sort of strange for me at first. In school, I mainly played with the girls. I was harassed by the other boys because I looked like a girl. When I reached puberty, something strange started to happen. I started to grow breast. My father took me to the doctor. After being felt up by the doctor, he talked to my father behind closed doors. Then came back to me and told me that is where little boys store their sperm when they are not using it. It wasn't until High School biology that I learned that could not be true.

In high school, I had to deal with breast growth and still looking like a young teenage girl. I hit my physical differences from my peers. I also hid my desire to be as I was before. I related more to the woman in high school, more than I did the guys. I played the game as best as I could. So much did I want to believe I was all male, but I wanted to prove those expectations to my family. I joined the military. During basic training I was constantly teased for running like a girl. Still, I managed to get through basic training and the skill school soon after. I also did something else, I got married.

My wife already had a son, whom I adopted as my own. I knew the marriage was unstable though. It seems she just married me for connivance. I managed to father a child with her and my daughter was born. Amazing, because I knew my sperm count was very low. I started cross dressing again, which would catch up with me. So a now ex wife, a high ranking general, and unsupportive military culture would soon throw me out of the military. It actually turned out to be a blessing, because it allowed me the freedom to discover who I was and what I was.

Despite my physical differences with males and females, I figured I must have some gender identity issue. I joined a cross dressing support group. It did not take long to figure out I was not a cross dresser. Nice people though. I met a transsexual there and related more to her. Still, something was wrong. I did attend a lot of support groups for transsexuals. I also started becoming more active in the community, to include Pride Parades, Lobbying, and protest. Then my world would flip upside down ad over again.

One day while going to work, I felt a lot of pressure on my chest. It got really tight and I was having trouble breathing. I thought I was having a heart attack./ I managed to make it to the nearest hospital. The shortly discovered I was not having a heart attack. They also ruled out anxiety. My body was under a lot of duress. One of my test, I urine test, showed high amounts of estrogen. This led to further testing for prostate cancer, which came up negative. Further testing led to karyotyping. The first test showed I was an 46XX. Figuring it was wrong, they tested again. Again, 46XX. A third test in a different part showed 46XY. Perplexed, they used another method. Coming up with both XX and XY depending on what part of my body they tested. A soft tissue x-ray also show some peculiar structures. Again, the first thought was cancer. It would lead to the shock of my life.

I had been diagnosed earlier as a transsexual. I had accepted this, but what the doctor was going to tell me changed my world forever. My doctor walked into the office. She put the x-ray slides up on the backlight on the wall. She explained to me that what they thought the areas they originally thought were cancer, were actually ovaries. Also, the karyotyping showed that my body contained both XX and XY chromosomes. After father testing and a CAT scan of my lower abdomen, it was confirmed I had a least one working ovary. Also I had one working testicle. Later I would find out one of my testicles was fake. I also found out my genitals were surgically altered at birth. Doctors speculate I had one working testicle, which was recessed. I had a partially formed vagina along with something that sort of looked like a penis. The released the penis, deconstructed the vaginal wall, then used parts to make a scrotum with the one working testicle. They called it chimerism, which was an Intersex condition. This was also passed down from my father, who turns out to be a 46XX/46XX. I have also told I absorbed my own twin, as my father before me. Both of our twins were fraternal. The difference was one of mine was male and the other female. Several theories of how this occurred.

I went through years of anger, which was actually rage. One for not being told anything was down. I was also angry at myself for not checking into the truth earlier. I guess I want to be like everyone else so bad, I was willing to ignore some obvious signs. I had lost everything on more than one occasion for being who and what I was. I am over that know. I have improved my life several fold since then. I also chose to help others find themselves and help community the best way I can. I hope you don't mind this severely shortened biography, but I don't want this site to be about what I went through,, but what I know now and help those who just now learning about themselves.

Joney